Death is the new life

Posted on November 9, 2010


Forgive my flair for the dramatic, but in honor of my 40th birthday today, my Creative Leadership site is officially coming to a close. You can say I am celebrating life by embracing death- death of my blog. I have been so grateful for this platform for the past 2 years. Through it I have discovered my passion for writing, connected with countless other creatives, and experienced new realms of creativity. In this modern age, it’s easy to take technology for granted and to feel a sense of entitlement. So as CL comes to a close, I want to acknowledge that it has been an extreme privilege to speak to you all. Having an audience (of any size) is a profound honor and I am grateful for every person that has ever visited, read, and left a comment.

I can’t believe I am actually turning 40- that’s like my parents age! The common response when people learn my age is “What? I thought you were like 28!”. Part of it may be good Asian genes and the other is because I am so emotionally immature :). Risking being cliché, I can’t believe how fast time has flown by. So as I officially exit my 30’s and begin my journey into the 40’s, I want to impart some wisdom collected over the past decade.

Three things I wish I knew when I was 30:

  • You have no idea what you are capable of. I started this blog because I knew I couldn’t do it- or so it seemed. With no discipline, experience, or know how, I committed myself to a regularly writing regiment. 2 years and 400 posts later, even I am amazed how much content I have created or reposted. Some of my posts may not have been brilliant but I promise that they all came from a genuine place in my heart. It’s amazing how our number one obstacle is not family, enemies, lack of time, or money, it’s ourself. Our internal dialogue convinces us that what we create is not good enough or will bring little value to this world. It keeps us from staring new things, exploring new ground, or risk looking like a fool. Almost everything I derive satisfaction from now are things that I only discovered within the past few years (my job, being a foster dad, an artist, a speaker, a nerd, etc). I have experienced more  life and freedom living in uncertain craziness than trying to champion competency. I hope that after how many years God will grant me on this earth that I will die looking like a fool.
  • No better time can be spent than being a voice for the voiceless. With all the evils in the world, I am convinced that the only ‘good’ of why it exists is to force us into action. I am often reminded of a quote by Martin Porter; “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. It burdens me reflecting on how many years I wasted trying to gain more toys, notoriety, or power. It’s so tempting to allow ‘convenience’ to become our idol and to just make life as easy as possible. There have been many factors that have contributed to this idea, but nothing more than becoming a foster dad. Having a foster baby has been an emotional roller coaster. While being one of the most challenging things ever it has also been one of the most rewarding. There are too many victims in this world and not enough advocacy champions. For however many years God will grant me on this earth, at the end of my life I hope my very last breath was spent defending another.
  • And finally, the last thing I wish I knew at 30 was to live my life for an audience of one. Stop trying to be an imperfect version of someone else and be a perfect you. Everything in this world in trying to conform you into a predictable ‘factory worker’. Whether it’s family, friends, school, or work, we expend an enormous amount of time and energy trying to ‘fit in’ instead of standing out. God has created you as a unique creation- there is NO ONE ELSE like you that has ever existed past, present, or future. Stop worrying less about what everyone else thinks and live for an audience of one. My guess is that will mean being a misunderstood, a misfit, unexpected, untraditional, unpopular, risky, outrageous, emotional, or just a little crazy. For however long God grants me on this Earth, I hope it is spent pleasing Him and no other. This is one of my favorite video shorts of all time. I think it beautifully captures the heart of this idea:

Again, I want to thank you for enduring all my rants and random musings for the past 2 years. I just want to practice what I preach and not be afraid to start over. I apologize to my regular readers and I hope whatever new web project I take on that you will be apart of it as well. In the meantime, you can always catch me on my other blogs at BabbleOn5 and Crazy4ComicCon. Follow me on Twitter at @TonyBKim for what launches next. So join me today on my birthday by celebrating the death of Creative Leadership. See you soon and God bless.